Polyamorous People #4: “When I Show Up at These All-White Events and I Feel Uncomfortable, I’m Not Quiet.”

A happy husband and boyfriend on how ditching monogamy made his marriage succeed — and why people of color often feel unwelcome in the polyamory community.

Photos by Daniel Krieger

Each month,  Narratively’s “People of Interest” series offers an up-close look at one New York community or subculture. Poly Cocktails is celebrating its tenth anniversary this Valentine’s Day. The monthly New York event is a hub for people who are polyamorous, meaning they have multiple romantic partners with the consent of all parties. Narratively’s Daniel Krieger headed to the rooftop lounge at The Delancey on Manhattan’s Lower East Side to hear some of their stories. Each Wednesday this month, we will share one in Polyamorous  People.

Who: Kevin Patterson; 38; technical writer; greater Philadelphia It started when I brought my girlfriend and her friend to this West Indian festival in Toronto. I made some jokes about young sexually active people partying and drinking, but I didn’t think it meant anything. It ended up meaning everything. Next thing you know, the three of us are rolling around together back at the hotel. The next day, I thought it would be this…