✏️🛠️ How I Learned to Write the Hard Stuff

I wanted to write about my traumatic personal experiences, but I was hiding behind walls. This is the moment when I finally broke through and found my voice.

Illustration by Olivia Waller

I wrote nonfiction in third person. It’s a strange method to approach narrative, essay and memoir. An unusual way to share a personal story. Most of my work had read like fiction and often, held a gap between the main character (me) and the audience. I told myself that this POV worked, writing my narrative from a “she” instead of a “me” perspective.

In writing groups and workshops, my short essays were processed as if fabricated. Feedback proved difficult, especially when a writer stated, “She would never do that” or, “I don’t believe this happened.” Reminders that I’d not established enough of my protagonist (me) on the page. Even better advice consisted of, “You might think about her doing this instead…” followed with ideas on how my character, meaning me, should behave. It felt like a blend between lecturing and counseling. Yes. I wish more of my interior (me) appeared on the page. Yes. I wish my character (me) had behaved differently. Don’t we all?

Yet m…