I Wanted to Be His Prized Possession
After a strict religious upbringing, escaping into the world of BDSM felt like my version of finding god. Then it got to be way too much.
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Illustrations by Margherita Barrera
“I can take a hit.”
That was the subject title of the Craigslist ad I posted at the age of seventeen. In the ad I explained that my pain tolerance was high, and offered to let people hit me with anything, so long as it was on my ass and not anywhere else. I often wonder how I came to the conclusion that this would be a good idea. Maybe it was loneliness that drove me to it, or my burgeoning appetite for pornography. Whatever it was, I received almost a hundred responses in the first hour.
I deleted most of the responses – the one liners, the vulgar tongues, and the people who couldn’t spell. I even received a response warning me, telling me that this was a dangerous ad to post, that I should delete it and get counseling. I didn’t mention my age but I guess something in the ad indicated that I was young.
I corresponded with Benji, who seemed experienced and smart. I don’t remember much about his first emails to me. When we met, he was in a button-down sh…
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