Just Sterilize Me, Already!

Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve known having kids is not for me. At 25, I couldn’t be more certain about my decision to undergo sterilization. So why does every doctor, nurse and therapist in sight keep trying to convince me otherwise?

Illustration by Alison Rutsch

“What about when you and your husband get divorced, and you meet someone else?”

She said when. The gynecologist’s voice was steady and detached, but her lips pursed in a condescending smirk and her eyes gleamed. I was 25 years old and had married my best friend three years earlier. Everything about being married brought me joy. I certainly had no intention of getting divorced. She paused briefly before delivering the final blow.

“What if Mr. Right wants children?”

She seemed to take pleasure in my inability to give an immediate response, but if I stumbled on my own thoughts, it was only because I was reaching for a response that would not get me thrown out of the gynecologist’s office. I finally went with: “That would mean that he is not Mr. Right.”

Her patronizing smile told me she was not satisfied.

“My husband has nothing to do with my desire not to have children,” I continued, hoping that I did not look as flustered as I felt. “I knew before I met him that …