The Extravagant Pair of Shoes That Brought Me Out of Mourning

After my son died, I could barely leave the house. I know it sounds crazy, but spending over $1,000 on Mary Janes finally made me want to dance again.

Illustrations by Vinnie Neuberg

The first time I saw them was in the departure lounge of London’s Heathrow Airport. They were on a glass turntable in one of those spotless boutiques where there was only a handful of goods on display.

“Ooh,” I breathed to my teenage daughter, Bracha Leah. “Look at those shoes.”

They were classic Mary Janes, powder-blue patent leather, with a slim strap and silver buckle. The heel was a sturdy two-inch square built of cubed crystals in layers of prisms. They were on a perky slant, caught mid-dance. I’d never seen a pair of shoes this exquisite.

My daughter said, “They are Miu Miu,” in the tone of someone who knows what that means. Then she said, “Go try them on.”

I was wearing my “airplane outfit” – sneakers with the almost unnoticeable rip near the toe, the ones I really, really, was going to throw out soon, leggings, thick cotton socks, ankle-length skirt and comfy travel sweatshirt.

“I can’t go into such an elegant store.” I said, and we walked on.