The Great Cottonmouth-Catching Get-Rich-Quick Scheme of 1956

As a reptile-obsessed teen, I ran away to hunt lizards in the Everglades, then hatched a plan to milk venom from deadly snakes. It went even more comically wrong than you're thinking.

Illustrations by Molly Magnell | Edited by Brendan Spiegel

Like many adventures, it began with faulty research. Dried snake venom could bring upward of $400 an ounce, said a newspaper article.

For a 15-year-old in 1956, that was a princely sum, nearly $4,000 in today’s dollars.

In my tender teenage years, more than one get-rich-quick scheme shook their flashy lures and hooked me on their shiny, sharp barbs. Despite comic and cosmic serial failures, coupled with persistent pig-headedness, nothing kept me from seeking the next shortcut to wealth — least of all, learning from experiences. This one seemed a sure thing.

The mystique and power of serpents reared early for me — in grammar school. A classmate showed me where to catch harmless DeKay’s snakes underneath plywood, boards and other clutter in fields. Turning over a piece of debris, sometimes two to four of these docile brown guys lay tightly coiled side by side, rarely a foot long.