The Most Offensive Thing My Therapist Ever Said to Me

I still can’t believe he thought those words were okay. But it did help me move on…from my shrink.

Illustration by Camily Tsai

At 35, I felt stuck: I was dating a guy I didn’t love and mired in a job I was starting to hate. I couldn’t quite believe how my life was turning out – I was neither the successful career woman I aspired to be, nor the young, fecund housewife my former New York Orthodox Jewish community had wanted me to become. But I felt powerless to change. I needed help. I was living in Los Angeles and found a psychiatrist who was warm, laid-back, and open. He didn’t ascribe to one particular psychological discipline, or think there was any magical solution to problems. He was just a person to talk to and help me figure things out. Dr. X and I spent the better part of a year questioning my life choices: Why did I keep getting back together with my boyfriend Brian if I didn’t love him? Why did I feel so guilty wanting to leave my workplace – after all, I’d been a manager at the company for four years! My therapist showed me I had options – to start dating others, to look f…