Why I Married My Best Friend on Facebook

Online marrying my best friend was the perfect loop hole for avoiding labelling relationships.

Illustration by Melissa Mendes

My Facebook profile says I’m “Married to Haley,” and has for the last four years. But it’s not exactly true.

First of all, Haley and I are both straight women. Second of all, we’ve claimed to be married since long before New York State legalized same-sex marriage. These Facebook “marriages” between best friends have become the digital iteration of friendship necklaces, two halves of a heart, bought at Claire’s and displayed as a proclamation. But they have practical applications beyond letting the world know that you love and are loved.

When I was nineteen I got engaged to the guy I’d been with for three years (he bought me a ring and everything: Art Deco white gold with a pearl and two little diamonds). We were even “Engaged” on Facebook, making it really official.

Eventually I realized I wasn’t ready to get married.  I wanted my single years in a cramped studio apartment full of books; I wanted to try to make it as a writer, even if that meant poverty; I w…